I'd do it with an expression -- move each layer a certain number of pixels per frame, and offset them horizontally using the layer index. I'd also use sliders to build controls to make it easily adjustable.
I laughed hard here too! And I really don't know what I found funnier. The fact that he was able to find the exact application that would do that and yet was wondering how to do the most basic function with it or Walter teaching expressions to a guy that can't keyframe position.
I don't tend to shame people's questions here, but this one was gold! Where is Dave LaRonde when we need him?