BUSINESS AND MARKETING: Business and Marketing Forum Business and Marketing Articles

Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor

COW Forums : Business & Marketing

<< PREVIOUS   •   FAQ   •   VIEW ALL   •   PRINT   •   NEXT >>
cowcowcowcowcow
Steve KownackiGood thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 4, 2010 at 9:58:08 pm

Thought I'd share some recent comments about DVDs we've produced, fortunately they are seldom:

I need to return this DVD, it doesn't work.
What seems to be the problem?
I put it in the player and it says no disc.
Hmmm. Do you see anything on the screen?
What screen?
The TV.
Oh no, this is in my car, I just wanted to listen to the audio.


I'd like to return this DVD.
What's the problem.
It only 10 minutes long, that's not worth $49.95.
What do you do after the first chapter plays and you get to the main menu? Have you selected another chapter?
(silence)
Oh. Thanks.


I'd like to return this DVD.
What's the problem?
It won't play on my computer.
Does it work on a stand-alone player?
Yes.
Have you tried it in another computer?
Yeah, it works fine at home.
Do you have another DVD you can try in the computer, to make sure it's not only our DVD with an issue.
No, that won't help, this computer doesn't have a DVD drive.
Uh, huh.
So why do you think our DVD would work when the other one's wouldn't?
I don't know. Just thought I'd ask.



Steve



Jump to the FFP Website



View Steve Kownacki's profile on LinkedIn




Return to posts index

Mark SuszkoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 4, 2010 at 10:34:33 pm

You improved my bad day just now, thanks.

"I weeesh to return this rrrecord; eet is scratched".-John Cleese


Return to posts index

Mark SuszkoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 4, 2010 at 10:47:22 pm

This reminds me of when I worked for a Big Wedding Guy as a shooter, and he asked me to try to collect from a momzilla who refused to pay for her finished video.

Her issue was that they had quoted her a rate of fifty dollars an hour for the wedding project, and (wait, you know what's coming, let me finish) since the final run time of the wedding video was two hours, she felt she only had to pay a hundred for it. With the shoot and edit, I think we'd sunk around 15 hours into it.


And as far as confusion about disc formats, MAN we get that all the time:

"I want you to video a training session and put it on a CD".
"Do you mean on a DVD?"
"No, I want to be able to watch it at the office."
"On your computer?"
"Yes."
(one CD-Rom with AVI or h264 files on it later)
"This CD doesn't work."
"How are you watching it?"
"I put it in a DVD player".
(One authored DVD later)
"This DVD doesn't work."
"Where are you using it?"
"In the computer."
"Do you have a drive in the computer that can play DVD's?"
"I dunno."
"How about software to play the DVD with, do you have that?"
"I dunno. Can you just email me the DVD?"


Return to posts index


Mike CohenRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 4, 2010 at 10:53:01 pm

I got these from a friend of a friend of a friend:

"I want the final video on a DVD"
"Ok, a DVD you can watch on your tv?"
"You can watch a DVD on a tv?"
"In other words using a standalone DVD player attached to a tv."
"Yeah, that. And can it work on a computer without a DVD player?"
"No, we would have to do a CD."
"Oh, what's the difference?"

___________

"Hi, I am having trouble viewing the videos on your website."
Ok, what's the trouble?"
"Well, there's no sound."
"I see, can you adjust the volume on your speakers?"
"You need speakers?"

_____________

"Did you get the video I sent?"
"Yes, however we asked for videos in DVD video or MPEG-2 format."
"Oh, so you want this on a DVD?"
"yes please."
(a few days later a DVD arrives containing the same WMV file that was previously delivered on a CD"


Return to posts index

Matt TownleyRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 12:28:25 am

Got this earlier this week:

"Hi, I'd like to return the DVDs we bought last week"
[insert 5 minutes to figure out they were talking about 15 VHS and VHSC tapes we transferred to DVD]
"I'm sorry, was there something wrong with them?"
"No, but we already watched them and decided the memories are not worth saving after all."
"I'm sorry, but there are no refunds on that type of service."
"Oh, can we trade them in for other movies?"
"(partially laughing)What sorta movies are you looking for?"
"Do you have Avatar?"
Thats when I could't contain it anymore and just laughed.





Return to posts index

Steve KownackiRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 12:45:36 am

Glad to help Mark.

Steve



Jump to the FFP Website



View Steve Kownacki's profile on LinkedIn




Return to posts index


Bob ZelinRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 4:22:04 am

from a long time ago -
NY ad agency producer - emergency call, could not get screening system to work in office. TV was turned off. "Oh, do you have to turn it on to see the picture" (you can't make up stuff like this)

from today -
well, I dare not tell this story in too much detail, as it relates to a recent post from a Creative Cow forum, but after going out of my way to find out about the clients system, to insure that there would be no conflict with the clients equipment, the client then observes what I ask about, and then CHANGES HIS SYSTEM to insure that there would be a conflict. After 1 1/2 hours on the phone, not being able to figure out what the hell was going on, and why nothing was working, I then randomly trying something else (out of desperation), I observe the conflict, and say "did you change anything ?" - to which he replied "oh yes, we saw that you changed XYZ, so we changed all of our equipment to match it".

Thats why I keep a wooden board handy, to smack myself in the head, after situations like this.

Bob Zelin






Return to posts index

Steve WargoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 8:36:52 am

It is hilarious how people think we can e-mail hours of DVD content. One day, I had a customer say "I know you can e-mail it to me. I watch videos on YouTube all the time".

What do you say to that comment?

And there's hundreds more. Before DVDs, I had a client bring me several VHS tapes, insisting they would fit on "A" CD. After the conversation heated up a bit by his insistance, I grabbed a CD in a jewel case, laid it on the table, took his VHS tapes and laid them on top of the CD case and said "There you go. Your movies on CD. $25 please." He stared at them for about 15 seconds and then got his checkbook out. We called him a few years later and did the job for him on DVDs.

How about the numerous clients who insisted that we shoot on VHS so they could watch the finished product on their TV. They would say "Beta's no good. They lost".

And now, what does the phrase "Are you recording to DIGITAL" actually mean?


Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


Return to posts index

Larry MeltonRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 7:29:10 pm

You know, I almost feel a little bad about making fun of all these people and calling them dumb. But I'm certain that there are message boards all over the internet for plumbers, HVAC guys, auto service technicians, or any one of dozens of other areas I know nothing about, and they're full of ridiculous, laughable comments and questions that I asked.

So I feel a little better that occasionally, I can brighten their days as well.


Larry Melton
1041East


Return to posts index


Jeremy DoyleRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 8:01:45 pm

[Larry Melton] "But I'm certain that there are message boards all over the internet for plumbers, HVAC guys, auto service technicians, or any one of dozens of other areas I know nothing about, and they're full of ridiculous, laughable comments and questions that I asked.

So I feel a little better that occasionally, I can brighten their days as well. "


Amen to that!




Return to posts index

Mike CohenRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 5, 2010 at 8:01:58 pm

Our customers are not supposed to be technical experts - that's why they hire us.
Are some of the things we hear from customers common sense? Maybe common sense for people who make it their business to know about these things, but business people have their hands in many projects and honestly don't have time or inclination to know or care about things like DVD vs CD, file formats, file sizes, how much data can fit on a particular format, etc.

In the end, I think what this thread shows is that, as has been discussed many times on this forum, we are problem solvers. We help customers so they do not have to try doing something that is not their specialty.

That's business 101.

Mike Cohen



Return to posts index

cowcowcowcowcow
Tim KolbRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 7, 2010 at 7:13:13 pm

Client comes calling with tape some plant guys shot on a consumer DV camera after determining we were too expensive to shoot it...a decade ago probably...4:3 SD days.

One of my staff videographer/editors sitting in the chair, fires up the tape...

Editor: "Um...this is all shot sideways...vertical."

Client: "It looked right when he was shooting it, I was standing right there."

Editor: "You were looking at a monitor?"

Client: "Yes...on the camcorder..."

Editor: "OK, but was the camcorder on its side?"

Client: (a bit indignant)"Well of course, as you can see the machine is very vertical...it was either very small or cut off if we shot it horizontally...haven't you ever shot a portrait?"

Editor: "Well, yes...I understand, but the image needs to be rotated and we'll either have to have black bars left and right as we shrink it down, or we'll cut it off to fill the screen from left to right...we have the same limitations as you saw when you were looking at the shot..."

Client: (now more indignant) "You mean to tell me that with all this stuff in this edit suite that you charge this much for, that you can't just make this work? What exactly do you guys get paid for?"

Editor (now exasperated)"I'm sorry, you're right...(grabs the 14" Sony program monitor I just bought and flops it on its side)..."just let all your potential customers know they have to tip their televisions on their side to watch the video."

...I am trying to moderate the situation and I am pursing my lips so hard to keep from laughing that I probably wouldn't have offended the customer any more if I'd just guffawed out loud...






TimK,
Director, Consultant
Kolb Productions,


Return to posts index


Steve WargoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 7, 2010 at 11:36:28 pm

Very funny. We've had that very thing happen twice. And, they all think that it fixes itself automatically. The last guy that brought this to was a film school student, and his stuff was 16x9 HDV. Kinda make you wonder...

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


Return to posts index

Mark SuszkoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 8, 2010 at 2:37:10 am

Steve and Tim, I can almost understand some folks shooting sideways like this; it is done sometimes for electronic signage stuff and for museum installations, places where a dedicated screen WOULD be rotated to the right aspect. Obviously when you rotate that image to fit a conventional 4:3 or 16:9, you'll have to shrink it or crop it. But I remember reading about a pro who shot this way specifically to maximize his resolution for a green screen shoot of pearl divers. I don't remember now if it was a COW article or some other magazine, just that it seemed like a lot of extra bother to get a little bit more resolution at the time.

Then again, I like the weird stuff.:-)



Return to posts index

Jason JenkinsRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 8, 2010 at 7:07:21 pm

I got a little point-and-shoot Panasonic Lumix for Christmas. It's a still camera that shoots HD video. It's perfect for around-the-house and at-the-park family stuff. A couple of times I have found myself shooting vertically and I have to remind myself that I'm shooting video, not snapping photos. I've never done that with an actual video camera, but I can see how it might happen to an inexperienced person in a photography mindset.

Jason Jenkins

Flowmotion Media

Video production... with style!


Return to posts index


Bill DavisRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 8, 2010 at 8:35:11 pm

This is likely to get worse before it gets better.

I just had a non-broadcast project where the research team went out and bought new iPod Nano's with video and used them to record simple on-camera impressions of store tours.

The video I got had not only regular, but vertical AND flipped 180 degree video on it.

On ingest into FCP, the footage would look fine when it was still frames on the timeline or as a picon, but the moment you played the footage it would FLIP OVER and play upside down.

Took me hours to get things corrected and eventually find the new controls in FCP recently put there in order to deal with this.

BTW, if you face this Flipped Out Nano Video issue You find an article I wrote about the detailed problem and solution on my web site here:
http://web.me.com/davisbill/Site/Welcome.html
In the ARTICLES tab.

Everything old is new again!



Return to posts index

Mark SuszkoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 8, 2010 at 2:30:27 am

Tim, you didn't ask them how they made italics fonts in their word processing, did you?:-) This one of yours makes me glad to have a keyboard skin here!

"Oh, you wanted to RECORD that?"


Return to posts index

grinner hesterRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 6, 2010 at 5:52:33 pm

reminds of of toyota drivers.

"soooo, when your cruise software hickuped and your car accelerated, what did you do?"

"weeeeehhh, I called my husband cuz I thought I was gonna die!"

"you made a phone call instead of taking your car out of gear?"

"wha?"







Return to posts index

Mick HaenslerRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 7, 2010 at 1:42:09 pm

Me: "And what format would you like me to deliver the final product to you
Customer: VCRuh
Me: Do you mean VHS tape?
Customer: No, VCRuh
Me: I don't know what that means, do you want a tape that plays on a VCR??
Customer: I want it on VCRuh!!
Me: DVD?
Customer: NO....VCRuh!!

Mick Haensler
Higher Ground Media


Return to posts index

Steve WargoRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Mar 7, 2010 at 11:38:44 pm

[Mick Haensler] "Me: DVD?
Customer: NO....VCRuh!!"


We shoot everything in VCRuh. HD VCRuh at that.

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


Return to posts index

Scot McCannRe: Good thing there's dumb people to provide humor
by on Apr 21, 2010 at 1:48:03 am

Weeellllllllll........

I've just had a guy tell me that his soundtrack won't breach copyright because it was recorded in the Vatican in the mid 1600's.

I wonder if the audio engineer was also infallible?



Return to posts index

<< PREVIOUS   •   VIEW ALL   •   PRINT   •   NEXT >>
© 2017 CreativeCOW.net All Rights Reserved
[TOP]