I confess, I've never really understood this. I mean, I get the idea: you're exporting pointers to the actual media, not the media itself and that's supposed to result in a much smaller file. But I must not understand how to do it.
For example, I select a sequence and go File>Export>QuickTime Movie and
Setting: Current Settings
Include: Audio and Video
and leave both the Recompress All Frames and Make Movie Self-Contained checkboxes UNCHECKED.
Is that not the correct method?
I've done it that way and also tried it with the Make Movie Self-Contained box checked and both files came out precisely the same size.