What kind of show? I would agree with you that stereo is the most common audio for non-Hollywood DVDs. Unless you're putting together some really high-end concert video (that was miked/recorded to make a surround mix) or similar, then there is no point in trying to make a 5.1 Surround track.
I've produced hundreds of DVD titles over the past 14 years and have always used stereo and have never even been asked once about surround.
Most folks don't have surround at home, and even if their gear supports it, the average person doesn't have it properly set up or calibrated or would appreciate it anyway, unless they are an audiophile/home theater guru.
But it will help to know the nature of the production, and who the audience will be.
The show is mixed in surround by a enormously talented mixer. Plus we have done a downmix ourselves to make a stereo mix.
It is just that when comparing the stereo off of the check disc and the 5.1 being downmixed by the Dolby encoder, the stereo seems louder and therefor to some in the production group - better. So I guess I am saying I am somehow distrusting the Dolby downmix.