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any constructive criticism?

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Damonstration
any constructive criticism?
on Dec 5, 2006 at 7:08:17 pm

i have been hired by my college to make videos (awesome, i know). basically they just want something creative that can be put on youtube that just lets people know a little bit about campus life. the idea we went with is a ripoff of the office, called the dorm.

so i write, direct, and produce the videos and three of my friends act with me. anyway, i know a couple things i would like to improve upon (i need a new mic and camera), but if there is anything you guys think could be improved, be it writing or acting or lighting or anything, i would love to know so i can improve what i'm doing. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

you can view our first two episodes at the following links:

http://www.underearthstudios.com/dorm1.html
http://www.underearthstudios.com/dormhalloween.html

i appreciate it!

damonstration


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zrb123
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 5:59:14 am

They were actualy vary intertaining.

I agree that the audio defenitly needs some work, my guess is that yoou just used the mic on the camera, thise rarly provide good audio of diolog. A good boom mike would defenity help. Also the widescreen format would give a more interesting overall image composition.

I also think that a femail presence is needed, I know that it is a guys dorm, but perhaps a tutor why is manipulative and starts messing with the guys (pits the two friends against eath other, Daniel is always awkward around her)

good luck I would love to see more


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Damonstration
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 10:54:57 am

actually we are using a makeshift boom mic. it's one of those little mics that fit on the top of cameras and we attached it to a cardboard wapping paper roll hahaha. but it's not a very good mic, obviously.

we have a script for a girl to be introduced, but i never thought about a tutor. i really like that i dea haha.

well i'm glad you found them entertaining!


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tony salgado
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 2:41:13 pm

spellchecker?




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Damonstration
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 2:53:03 pm

wow. thank you. that is exactly the kind of advice i'm looking for. things that pertain to my posts rather than video.

i'm not really even sure what your post means. i'm assuming it has to do with the fact that i occasionally spell words incorrectly. but it could be anything. grammar check might help you learn to write in complete sentences.


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Tim Kolb
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 9, 2006 at 4:25:26 am

[Damonstration] "wow. thank you. that is exactly the kind of advice i'm looking for. things that pertain to my posts rather than video."


First, I'm not sure as a student, or at least a very, very green professional, I would do a lot of terse responding to seasoned professionals that took the time to even read this thread considering this forum pertains to cinematography specifically and you seem to be seeking some creative input.

Second, Tony was responding to the person who responded to you who has 10 or more mispelled words in their post and a sentence that appeared to have been edited or was the result of an incomplete thought. This kind of thing is difficult to read.

Third, I looked at one of your shows when you first posted...audio is number one and some lighting is number two...then I'd spend some time studying television sitcoms to get a feel for "comic rhythm" in editing...some of your shots have decent concepts, but they could be 10% as long and still get the point across. The use of something besides 100% wide shots would also help the material move...and help an editor get some traction to bring the pacing up to speed...you can't cut a continuous wide shot.


You are coming into a professional community here at the Cow and many of us don't have a ton of time to respond to every post we'd like to... Posts that are tough to read or poorly articulated feel like a waste of our time. Ease up and have some respect and you will get along fine.







TimK,
Director,
Kolb Productions,

Creative Cow Host,
Author/Trainer
http://www.focalpress.com
http://www.classondemand.net


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Steve Wargo
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 9, 2006 at 5:19:01 am

Hey there, Damo,

Misspelled words are a sign of someone who just doesn't care. As for Tony's incomplete sentence, did you or did you not get the full jist of what he was telling you using one word and three syllables? You probably would have stretched that out to a full paragraph or two. For pros, less is more. In a real movie, how often do people actually answer questions?

I'll leave it right there.

Hmmmmm. Could you explain the meaning behind "Damonstration"? Just curious?

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona

It's a dry heat!


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Damonstration
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 9, 2006 at 9:36:07 am

yeah...i realized tony was talking to the guy that had posted right before me almost immediately after i made that post. aaaand i felt like a huge turd. finals are next week and i'm a bit stressed. anyway, sorry tony, thanks for taking the time to read the post.

tim, thanks for taking a look at my vids and giving advice. i'm looking to see if the school would buy a new, good mic for us to use. and lighting will have to come next.

sorry again for my hasty, rude post. i didn't mean to be disrespectful, i was just taking out my frustrations on someone who didn't deserve it haha. my bad.


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todd mcmullen
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 4:20:55 pm

You should re-think this. I am sure you can be more creative in your "office" idea.
But more importantly, you should consult or even hire experienced production people.
(Sound, videographer, lighting tech, etc.) You will be glad you did.

Todd McMullen
Flip Flop Films
Austin
Cinematography Forum Leader


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Damonstration
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 7, 2006 at 5:50:51 pm

haha i'm 19. i'm basically stuck with the equipment i have and my friends. the school is just paying me so that some student production can be put on youtube. and i'm not really sure why. there is basically no budget to this. also, the office idea isn't really up to me haha.


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Crow T Robot
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 8, 2006 at 8:41:22 pm

You need to study color temperature, and avoid mixing different temps in your shots. Usually the first indicators of amature production are scenes lit with tungsten light that show blue exterior light (through a window, on the ceiling, back or sidelighting your actors...). it smacks of "Here we are, let's shoot!" without regard for taking the time to color correct your lights to match your environment. If you want to step up a level, that is one area you can improve quickly and cheaply.

crow


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Damonstration
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 8, 2006 at 10:01:43 pm

color temperature. i'm on it. thank you! that's exactly the kind of advice i need!


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Steve Wargo
Re: any constructive criticism?
on Dec 9, 2006 at 5:22:39 am

You can buy blue light bulbs at a good camera store. Ask for "Daylight" or "5600K" bulbs. The come in short and long stem and cost less than $5. Ask for a bottle of focusing solution while you're in there, too.

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona

It's a dry heat!


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