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Watching Hemlock Grove?

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Kylee Peña
Watching Hemlock Grove?
on Apr 29, 2013 at 7:41:04 pm

Or watchED? I don't know how to ask people if they are participating in Netflix shows. Assume they watch them all or didn't? Whatever, has anyone else given Hemlock Grove a shot? I thought the trailer looked intriguing enough to try it out. I'm not really a horror fan, but I loved the first season of American Horror Story and this felt like it could go that direction.

One word review: yeesh.

There's a gruesome murder of a young girl and a horrifying sequence around a mutated baby, but the most offensive thing to me is the terrible script. So much exposition handled through terrible awkward dialogue (and there is LOTS OF TALKING.) Yet with all the heavy handed junk, it's still kind of hard to follow the characters. I guess there's some good-looking "gypsy scum" (a term used by EVERYONE in the town, yet I don't think I've ever heard the word "gypsy" used by ANYONE in real life in reference to a real person) teen and a good-looking rich kid teen and Famke Janssen speaking in a bizarrely distracting transatlantic accent. And a monster/girl named Shelley *EYEROLL*. Also some other people.

For a show that can be as violent, swear-y, and nude as it desires, it pretty much is…for no reason. It's mostly just uncomfortable. And I LOVE that kind of stuff. I'll take weirdness for the sake of being weird sometimes. But not when it's pointless and boring as hell. This girl is maimed at the beginning, right? The whole show is built around this murder. I should care about this by the end of the first episode, shouldn't I? I mostly just think "…..eh." Nobody is interesting or sympathetic.

It's like spending an awkward dinner with weird people you don't know and being relieved to not have to do it again afterward.

And while I'm complaining, it felt cheap. And the weird junk thrown around is way to LOST-ish for me to trust it. I don't think the show is clever enough to construct a mystery, but I have trust issues anyway.

I like the idea of a Netflix original series (and I haven't watched House of Cards yet) but I expected a lot more out of this. It just felt really low budget and kind of amateurish. The book even has mediocre reviews on Amazon. Why would anyone say yes, let's make that into a series to represent our new idea for content?

It occasionally had some interesting directing though.

Interested in other thoughts in case I have a supernatural prejudice or something. Twitter seems to tell me that the audience for this is pretty young, which would be slightly concerning if I cared about the corruption of young people. They've been on the Internet, they've seen all this stuff already.

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Scott Roberts
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 1, 2013 at 10:15:38 pm

I have not seen Hemlock Grove, and based on your review of it, I don't plan on watching now, either. I also haven't seen House of Cards, but I've heard it's at least worthy of watching (but not mind blowingly good or anything). I think my first foray into the Netflix TV experiment will be Arrested Development, which is hardly crediting Netflix with coming up with a good original idea, it merely makes them geniuses for spending the money to bring back an awesome show. And I've been giving plenty of awkward neck massages to people in anticipation of the return (Heyyyyy forum members).

Did you know Amazon is also getting into the TV show game as well? They currently have 14 pilots that people can watch for free, and help decide which one gets made.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1001155581

The Zombieland show is the most high profile, and based on the trailer, it looks terrible. At least in comparison to the film. Maybe if the Zombieland movie never got made, this show would be a funny concept, with still kind of bad jokes. But as it stands right now, it's a ripoff of the movie with worse actors and half the comedic potential. It also looks cheaply made. Like really cheaply made. It doesn't make me want to watch the actual pilot, let alone an ongoing series.







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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 2, 2013 at 8:34:42 pm

[Scott Roberts] "And I've been giving plenty of awkward neck massages to people in anticipation of the return (Heyyyyy forum members)."

I am so excited for this show to come back. Please don't suck, show.

I haven't watched any of the Amazon Prime pilots yet, but yeah Zombieland looks pretty awful.

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 3, 2013 at 7:41:23 pm

I just watched Episode 1 last night.

"Yeesh", is a pretty good estimation.

But...doesn't it have all the makings of a cult classic, including the seemingly Betacam inspired colors?

Freaks and Geeks meets Stephen King's It directed, no, sorry, produced by Eli Roth?

I may give it one more episode.


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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 11:49:25 am

[Jeremy Garchow] "doesn't it have all the makings of a cult classic, including the seemingly Betacam inspired colors?"

The show seems to think that about itself. Did you end up giving it another try?

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 3:32:34 pm

[Kylee Wall] "The show seems to think that about itself. "

Excellent way to put it, yes.

[Kylee Wall] " Did you end up giving it another try?"

The Cabin in the Woods finally came to Netflix streaming this weekend! So that great piece of entertainment, along with Game Of Thrones encapsulated my weekend viewing.

Maybe this week I can get to Episode 2. Did you make it all the way through the first season?


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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 3:38:42 pm

I stopped after episode one and read what happens in the rest of the season. I'm good. Ha.

I thought Cabin in the Woods was one of the biggest missed opportunities of 2012, so our tastes may vary wildly :)

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 3:43:26 pm

[Kylee Wall] "I thought Cabin in the Woods was one of the biggest missed opportunities of 2012, "

Meaning that the movie was almost there, but didn't quite make it to greatness?


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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 4:01:11 pm

Meaning it was a great premise, a self-aware horror film, but it wasn't successful in what it was trying to be. It just became the trope-filled horror fest it was trying to commentate on, without adding any new perspective to the genre. It's kind of a weird movie in that people either seriously love it or really don't like it, and I don't think that everyone that dislikes it (including myself) just doesn't get what the film is trying to do.

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 6, 2013 at 8:10:49 pm

I see. I guess I didn't see it as a horror movie commentary as much as a bit of a modern homage by actually creating the formula in a control booth.

I thought it was very entertaining and fun, although I didn't like the actual ending.

The scenes where all the creatures kept catapulting out of the elevators and cannibalizing each other was absolutely hilarious.


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 10, 2013 at 3:49:58 am

So, I saw episide 2.

I think I might watch 3. What is wrong with me?

Big congratulations on your new gig, Kylee.


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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on May 10, 2013 at 12:12:30 pm

If there's anything wrong with you, I'm sure the fact you're watching Hemlock Grove is not the reason :) I'm glad someone is watching because I like Netflix's ideas as far as content delivery. Take one for the team and watch 'em all. Haha.

And thanks so much!

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on Jun 7, 2013 at 8:00:23 pm

Well, I made it all the way through.

I'll admit, it had me. It had me in the ridiculousness.

I thought that some of the acting was actually passable at times. There were some cool characters.

There were times when I didn't feel the hyper color and smash cuts, and I was engrossed as the screen went away, and I was in the story.

I was kind of excited when a mini BSG reunion started happening, and it seemed to work OK, fortifying the cult status it seems to emanate.

The one element that bothered me the most was Famke Janssen's fake accent. Seriously, just do away with that shit and let Famke be the Creepess. She's pretty good at it.

Then Episode 12 came and f*cked it all up. This wasn't the Game of Thrones, all of your favorite characters will die fact-of-life strategery, but more of a holy crap I actually spent the time to wait for THIS?!?!?! kind of plot explosion.

Perhaps season 2 will be better?

:-D


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Tim Wilson
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on Jun 7, 2013 at 8:20:31 pm

[Jeremy Garchow] "Famke Janssen's fake accent. Seriously, just do away with that shit "

I've already got an "Always Use Your Own Accent" list.

For example, does anybody need to explain WHY Alan Rickman is "talking like that?" No. He's Alan Rickman. That's how he talks.

Emma Thompson. Same deal. I don't need to know WHY an English-accented person is in a Southern gothic movie. She LOOKS like Emma Thompson, who sounds AWESOME. Let her sound awesome.

Emma Watson did the best American accent in Perks of Being A Wallflower (which I loved) that I've heard this side of Hugh Laurie, but really, I'd rather the character sounded like Emma Watson. No need to explain why a girl with this accent is doing in Pittsburgh. People move. Pittsburgh's nice. They've already set up that her sibling in the story is a half-brother, so we're all the more cool.


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Jeremy Garchow
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on Jun 7, 2013 at 9:35:35 pm

Funny!

I am now on to my next Netflix series which is Top of the Lake.

It takes place in New Zealand and Elizabeth Moss of Mad Men fame plays a kiwi and of course has the kiwigean(?) accent and actually does a decent job of it. But Top of the Lake is eons more...professional in the traditional sense...than Hemlock Grove

There are also some Americans from south of the Mason/Dixon (helded by Holly Hunter) that don't speak Kiwinese and are actual transplants.

I like the idea of your list. Have you seen the movie Suture from a time before Dennis Haysbert was POTUS? It farts around with identity issues pretty well.


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Kylee Peña
Re: Watching Hemlock Grove?
on Jun 7, 2013 at 10:59:15 pm

I thought I mentioned it before, but apparently the accent was her idea. She wanted to make her seem like she was from a different time, like maybe she was an actress in the 40s or something equally inexplicable.

Elisabeth Moss doing kiwi sounds cray! I'll have to check this out.

Congrats on finishing. You're a better man than I. No shame in liking it, in all its ridiculousness. You could do much worse. Ha.

blog: kyleesportfolio.com/blog
twitter: @kyl33t
demo: kyleewall.com


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