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Scott Roberts
Insidious
on Apr 4, 2011 at 3:02:44 pm

<a href="http://i1.creativecow.net/u/150514/sithlordinsidious.jpg"><img src="//i1.creativecow.net/u/150514/sithlordinsidious.jpg" border="0" /></a>


Finally, the Sith gets his revenge! Let us all thank Insidious for the return of the great Darth Maul.

But really, though, were the filmmakers completely unaware that a huge blockbuster came out in 1999 called The Phantom Menace? Did they honestly not know that they face-painted their villain to look exactly like everyone’s favorite dual lightsaber wielder? Or was it just a brilliant jab at George Lucas, saying to the world “No one will remember Star Wars: Episode One and its nonsensical glory”. Regardless of the answer (I’d take either of them as the truth), Insidious was… well, Insidious is… …to be honest, I wasn’t that thrilled that I had to look up in a dictionary what the title of this movie meant…

I actually wasn't even planning on seeing this in theaters, but I managed to score some free tickets to this over the weekend at Hollywood Blvd. So I knew even if it was bad, I'd be watching it in a comfortable swivel chair while restaurant quality food was brought to me during the film. But was it worth the $0 admission? Eh. Maybe.

Insidious is kind of like Poltergeist, but not done as well or as memorable. It’s like if Poltergeist ate a lot of paint chips as a kid. Plot goes as follows: family lives in house, son gets possessed, exorcist is brought in, nightmare starts to become reality, and so on. In other words, this is the most original plot ever thought up. I was actually slightly into this movie during the first two acts, almost as a guilty pleasure haunted house kinda thing, but then the third act takes a turn for the worse. Basically it turns into that Jennifer Lopez movie The Cell; only less creative, less spectacular, and far less visually stimulating.

The main scare tactic in this film, like basically all horror films of the 2000s, is to have one or two second flashes of crazy stuff with no substance, then it disappears. Ghosts are all about theatrics, apparently. I didn’t really get startled during Insidious, and I found the most disturbing scare to occur in broad daylight; when through a window, a silhouette of a ghost child is dancing to happy music. It’s barely visible, yet right in front of you, and that is what I remember as the creepiest thing from this film. Not Darth Maul.

I will commend it however, for doing what it did on a $1.5 million budget. It already basically made a 10x profit in its first weekend. So, we can probably expect an Insidious 2 in the near future. Just my guess.

I left Insidious with an overwhelming feeling of indifference. Will I ever see it again? No, probably not. Did I feel like I completely wasted an hour and forty-five minutes? Nah, I’ve frittered that much time away on far stupider things. Should anyone even care that Insidious exists? I don’t know, if you’re into it, you’re into it. If you’re not, you’re not. Indifference. That should have been the title of this movie. And I wouldn’t have had to look that up in a dictionary.

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Mark Suszko
Re: Insidious
on Apr 4, 2011 at 8:50:43 pm

LOL, Scott, you sure you're not a sock pupput for Plinkett's reviews?

"It’s like if Poltergeist ate a lot of paint chips as a kid. "

Dude, you're all kinds of awesome as a reviewer. You should hit up the local papers with that talent.


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Scott Roberts
Re: Insidious
on Apr 5, 2011 at 2:22:40 pm

Haha, I hope to achieve a level of insanity on par with Mr. Plinkett one day. A kid can dream, right?

And I've considered writing for the local paper, but I've actually never seen the local paper in my town. I'm not sure it even exists!


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Mark Suszko
Re: Insidious
on Apr 5, 2011 at 3:58:16 pm

You've gotta have a free weekly kind of paper around, one of those that lists all the weekend activities and stuff. In chicago, that's the "Reader". Here in Springpatch, it's the "Illinois Times".

I encourage you to find your local version, paper or net-based, and show them some of your reviews.


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