A cinematographer buddy of mine and I were solving the world's problems over a couple of brews earlier-- and the subject turned to RED.
Now, my friend is quite the conspiracy theorist. This is what he came up with. Now, remember-- this is my friend and some Milwaukee-based liquid refreshment talking, not me--
The RED camera doesn't exist. It never did, never will. No one is even WORKING on such a camera. It's all a gigantic conspiracy, a scheme concocted either in an underground lair somewhere-- probably beneath a dormant volcano-- or on a huge yacht at sea away from international boundaries. I mean, how many people here have even SEEN the camera? Only a few of us in here have (and I'm not one of them). And those that HAVE seen it really just saw a dummy-- a mockup-- the camera equivalent of lights and wires in a box. You say you've seen footage, eh? But have you really? I've just seen some clips on the web, they could have been shot by anything (probably just plain HD shot with a Pro35, or maybe Genesis). You say you've seen REAL footage? But HAVE you? Was it shown via a 4K projector?-- or actually something LESS? If it WAS shown on a 4K projector, who is to say you weren't watching an electronic version of something that actually originated in a Panavision, with little sprocket holes down the edge? Those beautiful stills on the internet? Those are from a still camera, of course. Peter Jackson's demo? Well, Mr. Jackson is in on the ruse, naturally, and getting a healthy cut, his demo being merely a 4K DI taken from his original FILM-- probably large format to avoid any visible grain, maybe 70mm or even IMAX footage. But wait, you say-- you actually KNOW someone with one of the first 50 REDs-- but DO you REALLY? There are even a couple of guys here on this forum with RED cameras already in their hands-- or ARE there? Or are they people we consider our long-term cyber-friends but who are in ACTUALITY not even real people-- just chat room personas, mere alter-egos for the same evil genius behind this whole plot, some who have actually been here for YEARS creating false identities JUST for this moment. Yes, I'm talking about you. A lot of work? Maybe--- but have you SEEN the line of people willing to fork over the thousand-buck deposit? Of course, anyone who refutes this plot discovery is simply yet another stooge who is in on the scheme, eager to beat ill-gotten booty out of working stiffs like Leo and the others on the "waiting list"-- a wait that sadly will never end. INSERT EVIL GENIUS LAUGH WHILE CREEPILY WRINGING HANDS-- Bwwahhaa haa haa haaa!!!
It was at this point that my friend drifted into conversation about there being a secret magnetic stripe in the re-designed $5 bill so the government can track you. He was one step away from putting tinfoil in his hat to "block the aliens' rays."
Conversations can definitely get interesting when the hour is late enough, and enough beverages are consumed.
But SERIOUSLY-- I had assumed all along that the RED powers-that-be decided to let loose the 50 or so cameras before they were really ready in order to quash some grumbling among those tired of the delays. That seemed logical. But it didn't occur to me until just now that by going ahead and delivering a few of them, that RED also had a few dozen folks instantly go from waiting-listers to owners-- and in the process fork over around three-quarters of a million more bucks to fund their continuing development. You've got to give them credit, they are crafty indeed.
I knew it. I just knew it.
Well, there you have it! And if I hadn't quite drinking 12 years, 3 months and 14 days ago, I could have figured it out for myself.
I'm curious to know what conspiracies your friend would have spun if you'd been drinking whiskey or tequila? Scotch, vs bourbon, vs Canadian?
Could he have somehow gotten Red, the Knights Templar, Rob Roy, Pancho Villa, Leon Trotsky, JFK & the moon landings all wrapped up in one neat little package? Or would that have required drinking champagne? Might make for an interesting series of tests!
[AlexHuber69] "I had assumed all along that the RED powers-that-be decided to let loose the 50 or so cameras before they were really ready in order to quash some grumbling among those tired of the delays."
I'm thinking that this is just their beta test. And a pretty clever way to do it! Kind of like how Viper really got the kinks worked out in the shooting of "Collateral", or how SI used the shooting of "Spoon" to test & refine their camera, but with a much bigger, more diverse pool of users.
Now in post: Peristroika, a film by Slava Tsukerman
[Arniepix] "I'm thinking that this is just their beta test. And a pretty clever way to do it!"
Yup, pretty darn clever beta testing at that... a wide range of eager testers from varied walks of life and usage conditions... AND they pay you substantial bucks for the privilege.
[AlexHuber69] "INSERT EVIL GENIUS LAUGH WHILE CREEPILY WRINGING HANDS-- Bwwahhaa haa haa haaa!!!"
So that's how you spell the evil genius laugh. I'd always wondered.
Fantastic Plastic Entertainment, Inc.
I knew it. I just knew it!
It's a dry heat!
Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut Pro systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
Consider this, you conspiracy freak ! Maybe Leopard was released to destroy the Broadcast Television industry. Notice how Redcode does not exist. Now, Final Cut Studio 2 won't run under Leopard. Maybe, just MAYBE - RED will only playback with a NEW codec, that will only work on iPhone, or Apple TV, and the only way to really see 4K files from RED is via web distribution, that is controlled by Apple ! Maybe Steve Jobs says "screw the broadcasters, I control the best 4K camera, I control it all ! Baaa Haaa Haaa !
ps - alcohol is a required part of any production field kit.
[Bob Zelin] "Final Cut Studio 2 won't run under Leopard. Maybe, just MAYBE - RED will only playback with a NEW codec, that will only work on iPhone, or Apple TV"
That would be the new iPhone 4k. Which, after a few shots of tequila, magically becomes upgraded to the iPhone 8k Stereo.
Now in post: Peristroika, a film by Slava Tsukerman
[Todd at Fantastic Plastic] "pretty darn clever beta testing at that... a wide range of eager testers from varied walks of life and usage conditions... AND they pay you substantial bucks for the privilege"
Everyone who buy something (software, hardware, camera,..) that is not in the market since at least 6 month, is a beta tester. This is the digital world. Or you are a beta tester or you risk to buy something that will be oldfashioned in a few weeks time. And all of us are paying substantial bucks for no having any kind of privilege.
RED may be making history. Who knows?
So i've been on Cow for some time now trying to be of some help on a few forums and of course vice versa. So I decided to go through a few other forums and stumbled upon RED. I'm getting a kick reading the posts from these stooges. Keep it coming. I guess this site isn't all about knowledge and a little comedy :)