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Need some critiques...

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Sam Lesante Jr.
Need some critiques...
on Jul 16, 2010 at 10:38:41 pm

Hi Fellow Cows,

I would like some critiques on my very first pilot of my very first reality show. Don't hold back, give me the good, bad and the ugly :)

Here's the link

http://ssptv.com/show.php?show_id=29

TIA

Sam


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Bob Zelin
Re: Need some critiques...
on Jul 16, 2010 at 11:12:00 pm

oh my God Sam,
put it on you tube. What server are you using? This is a subject that I love to watch - it looks like a great show, but the download (and virtual lack of streaming) is terrible, and after 10 minutes (I was making cables while I was trying to watch and listen) was terrible, so I got frustrated, and stopped watching it. In real life, you will probably here comments like "it's been done before" with Orange county Choppers, and West Coast Choppers, and even LA Ink. Do I like it - sure I like it, but I like the subject matter, and even with that, I got frustrated trying to watch it. NO, I won't spend 30 minutes so it can do a complete download so I can watch it.

Bob Zelin




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Richard Cooper
Re: Need some critiques...
on Jul 17, 2010 at 7:00:18 pm

I agree with Bob,
Put it up on Youtube or Vimeo and you will have a much nicer presentation and you can still embed it on your own web page. Best part is, it is free.

Good luck!

Richard Cooper
FrostLine Productions, LLC
Anchorage, Alaska
http://www.frostlineproductions.com


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Mark Suszko
Re: Need some critiques...
on Jul 19, 2010 at 7:33:22 pm

You have a LOT of exposition going on, which is to be expected in a first episode, since you don't know all the characters and the setting has to be introduced. However, this means you are making me wait a LONG time for the story to really get started. A LONG time. Classic problem every new show faces. That's why probably when you try selling this show, you should fitst demo a later episode, one that already has these things established, in a way such that you can pick up the thread of it and "ride along" in a handful of minutes. That's really more representative of the show.

If it were up to me, I would re-cut this episode to intersperse the story line in between the exposition more. If the story for the season is this one custom bike, and everything somehow connects back to it, then show me more of that, more often, and put the guys in more voice-over and more PIP boxes while the work is going on.

I also don't know exactly who your audience is supposed to be for this, and what they want out of your story. Whatever you choose to do, consider the audience needs first. Are they looking for how-to's on doing their own custom work? Probaly not. Are they looking for inspiration and maybe a way to develop their own aesthetic? To gain a common vocabulary about the bikes, so they can express what they want or don't want to their local custom shop? Is it a show that's an overview of true "biker culture", and what is that, exactly, for real? Is it just an appreciation of skill and artisanship, with some character study thrown in? Or is it about the guys first, and the bikes, second? When you know these answers, you will have a good grip on how to structure future shows, which parts to play up, which to damp down.

Keep working at it, whatever you do.


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Chad Brewer
Re: Need some critiques...
on Jul 20, 2010 at 1:53:58 am

Or....
As Mark was saying as far as characters and story go and Bob was saying as far as having the ability to get a quick, easy glimpse into the idea, take what you have of this initial pilot and cut a great trailer for the series - capturing the essences of what the series could be by what the target audience would be most interested in. That is, cut an intriguing, short (2-5 minute) trailer that gives your audience a taste, but not too much, of what the characters and the series may hold for their future curiosity. Try to precisely leave them hungry for more without giving away too much so they'll come back like hungry dogs or curious cats.
Think of feature film trailers. Most of them suck and give you enough information about the film as a whole for you to conclude that this is another "run of the mill" film that you don't care to see. But we've all seen a few well done trailers for films or TV series that make us say wow, I want to see that film when it comes out or wow, that could be a great TV series. What nights will it be on TV?

http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/21/859875

Chad Brewer
Senior Tape Operator/Engineer
TeleVersions


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Sam Lesante Jr.
Re: Need some critiques...
on Jul 20, 2010 at 3:17:25 pm

Thanks to all for the awesome insight. I will get the show on youtube in a couple of days.

Alot of great things to think about for the next episode.

I didn't want to give alot of background on the production of this because i wanted to see what all of you thought of the product. With that being said, this is not your typical reality show production.

It started with our sales person trying to interest them in a commercial for the shop that would air on our "hyper local" station (meaning 35,000 households). The owner said he's done commercials before and wanted something different. So he suggested a reality type show but showing people that they don't just do custom bikes. They do oil changes, inspections, repairs...oh and tatoos. They definitely wanted the tatoo guy in the show too cause he does some spraying for them as well.

So, yes, the first show had to have all of these people in the show telling who they are and what they do.

We only have a 3 episode contract with the shop owner right now. We only have 2 small sponsors for the show, we wanted to get a show done to show other potential sponsors plus the ones that r mentioned on the show.

The second show is going to focus more on the bike build and the problems that arise and the 3rd episode will have the final bike production. After that, we'll have to see if sponsors and/or the owner pays for more shows.

Oh, I forgot to mention that only 2 people were involved in the production of the show. Me and another guy. We both shot video at the same time, we took care of the audio with 4 lav mic's connected to my cam, then we had an intern log some of the video. Then both of us edited the open and the show. I know there are alot more people involved in a show like this. There were no writers, directors, lighting people, grips, etc... It was just 2 guys shooting whatever happened. Which i think gives it a more "raw" look. But there's good and bad to it obviously.

Hopefully if we get more sponsors = more money, we can get more people to help with the show.

Again, thanks for the comments. For those who couldn't view it, i will post a youtube link soon.

TIA

Sam


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