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you can't make this stuff up

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Bob Zelinyou can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 12:18:47 am

someone just sent this to me because they know I go crazy when I see stuff like this. It's from Craigs list -


Driver w/ Final Cut Pro Experience (Beverly Hills)

Creative Advertising and Production company is seeking entry level driver. Must have insurance and clean driving record. Prefer candidates with Final Cut Pro experience and a desire to pursue a career in motion picture advertising editorial.


•Location: Beverly Hills
•Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
•Please, no phone calls about this job!
•Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



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Bill DavisRe: you can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 6:50:10 am


The real kicker is that you pretty well know they're going to get flooded with responses.....


Craig's List!
Where lives and stuff are as cheap as they are mediocre.



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Brendan CootsRe: you can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 7:00:25 am

Awesome.

Wonder if you are expected to do both at the same time, LA multitasker style? If only the iPhone 3GS had FCP Lite as Walter "predicted."

Brendan Coots

Splitvision Digital

http://www.splitvisiondigital.com


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Emre Tufekci S.O.A.Re: you can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 10:46:36 am

Driver w/neurosurgery experience (Beverly Hills)

Creative Medical center is seeking entry level driver. Must have insurance and clean medical record. Prefer candidates that are experienced with use of specially developed minimally invasive stereotactic techniques and a desire to pursue a career in treatment of vascular malformations.

•Location: Beverly Hills
•Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
•Please, no phone calls about this job!
•Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

No....I'm sorry, the original ad is funnier. Its true you cant make this stuff up!!!

Emre Tufekci
http://www.productionpit.com



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Mark SuszkoRe: you can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 1:54:12 pm

The part that's funny to me is Beverly Hills and Craig's List in the same sentence.


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grinner hesterRe: you can't make this stuff up
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 2:46:16 pm

lol
While I've gotten staff editing jobs by painting the cyc and hangin' shelves, man I didn't answer an ad to do it. It was more like "sorry we don't have any positions open at this time" with me responding "oh you just don't yet!"
If hiring initiative, an ad is not required. If exploiting an editor for his car, on the other hand...



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Steve WargoThis is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 3:32:58 pm

They'll need one of them there laptop mounts like the cops have.

Wait a minute! I drive about 28,000 miles a year at an average of 30 mph. That means I am spending around 933 hours per year behind the wheel. If I could turn that into editing time at an average of say, $65 per hour (render time considered), that's a cool $61,000 a year. If I had a second laptop to use while the first one is rendering (FCP after all), I could probably rack up another $5k minimum.

After thinking about it, if I could put several of these mobile edit stations out there, paying a shelving contractor like Grinner, to drive/edit, at say $12 an hour ($11k a year), I could really rack up some spare change.

What if we went with motor homes?

What would really make the money is going back to work instead of spending hours writing this drivel.



Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


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Mike CohenRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 4:43:56 pm

Steve - on a few occasions I have rendered files on laptop while driving to a meeting, the airport or train station. You thinking texting is dangerous while driving, try using Adobe Encore behind the wheel.

I see the occasional ad looking for people with an HD camera to shoot news stories about their local community for like $25 per story. Bad news.

Personally I am looking for an administrative assistant who can type, make travel reservations, manage my expenses, send faxes and who owns a RED camera.

Know anyone like that?

Mike Cohen


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Patricia ShanksRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 5:30:21 pm

Well, there it is. The law only says no texting while driving. Says nothing about editing. The only problem is ... how to make the entire process hands free. Perhaps a stylus between the teeth? Go ahead. Go ahead. Tell me I'm onto something.

Patricia Shanks
Patricia Shanks Voice Studio
http://www.studioshanks.biz


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Mike CohenRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 5:48:50 pm

I think we need to add some more pedals and integrate the radio and cruise control buttons on the steering wheel. We could add a jog and shuttle function to the radio dials and air conditioner knobs. All of those buttons most drivers can use without looking.

Didn't the Lightworks have pedals or a touch screen interface?

Apparently at NAB 1982 or so when the Lightworks was being demonstrated, using raw footage from Return of the Jedi, it was the most popular booth in town.

Ron, if the members of this forum come up with a new product idea, like in-car editing, who owns the IP?

Incidentally, a car makes a quiet audio booth in a pinch.

Years ago before I joined the company, they had a yellow Winnebago called The Banana. They had an edit bay and drove around the US and Canada filming and editing surgery. Only problem was there were four guys living in the thing too.

Mike


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David Roth WeissRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 6:04:25 pm

[Mike Cohen] "Incidentally, a car makes a quiet audio booth in a pinch."

Hybrids, such as the Prius, make the very best rolling audio booths. Non-hybrids require pulling over to side of the road for good recording, making them definitely inferior.

The mileage is so good on my Prius that I'm able to record hours and hours of voiceover on just a few cents worth of gas.

David Roth Weiss
Director/Editor
David Weiss Productions, Inc.
Los Angeles

POST-PRODUCTION WITHOUT THE USUAL INSANITY ™


A forum host of Creative COW's Apple Final Cut Pro, Business & Marketing, Indie Film & Documentary, and Film History & Appreciations forums.


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Mark RaudonisRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 6:12:43 pm

You guys need to starting thinking OUTSIDE the box. Sure, editing in the car is fine... but what about distributed rendering? Just think, you could have the entire New York City taxi fleet working on rendering your output. What the heck, they're just sitting there anyway... might as well put them to use!

Mark



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Steve WargoRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 17, 2009 at 7:15:38 am

[Mike Cohen] "Only problem was there were four guys living in the thing too."

There's a medical issue just waiting to happen.


Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


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Tim KolbRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 8:30:25 pm

[Patricia Shanks] "The only problem is ... how to make the entire process hands free. Perhaps a stylus between the teeth? Go ahead. Go ahead. Tell me I'm onto something."

Hmmm... you could get rid of that useless airbag in the steering wheel and replace it with a trackball.

...keep your hands off it in a sharp turn of course or you'll be pulling in clips from the trashcan.

On second thought, maybe a Wacom tablet with a base that fits snugly into a cupholder would be the ticket...although where would I keep my cheeseburger?




TimK,
Director, Consultant
Kolb Productions,


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Mike CohenRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 9:48:44 pm

Just got my car back from the shop. It runs on Premiere CS4.


Sorry but William Daniels' voice was not available.

Mike Cohen


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Ron LindeboomRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 9:51:51 pm

Quite impressive, Mike.

It would look even fancier with one of those color-coded Bella keyboards.

Now this is what I call multi-tasking.

Ron Lindeboom


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Steve WargoRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 17, 2009 at 7:17:20 am

Just go ahead and e-mail that check to me.

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


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Nick HrycykRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 9:42:29 am

It may be time to resurrect the old CMX voice-activated software, integrate it with Avid's new Max-T online editing software and keep your dog in the car with you!

Nick Hrycyk
Digital Image Studios


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Timothy J. AllenRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 9:52:39 pm

I figured out how to make the editing process hands free. Become the Producer. ;-)



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Steve WargoRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 17, 2009 at 7:14:06 am

Men can steer with their thigh.

Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


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Steve WargoI do, as a matter of fact.
by on Sep 17, 2009 at 7:08:39 am

One person in our towm bought a RED, thinking that he would become an instant "cinematographer" and he has yet to shoot his first anything, after almost three years. So what's he been doing since? Working as a PA for a somewhat average video company that shoots everything on a Canon HV20.

I'll have him call you, tonight.



Steve Wargo
Tempe, Arizona
It's a dry heat!

Sony HDCAM F-900 & HDW-2000/1 deck
5 Final Cut (not quite PRO) systems
Sony HVR-M25 HDV deck
2-Sony EX-1 HD .

Ask me how to Market Yourself using Send Out Cards


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grinner hesterRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 15, 2009 at 10:01:10 pm

my old driving post facility:
http://grinnerhester.com/bus1.jpg
http://grinnerhester.com/ship.html





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Ed CilleyRe: This is Brilliant!
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 2:47:59 am

And now with Keymote, you don't really need the computer handy...

http://icedcocoa.com/keymote

They have an app that will run FCP from your iPhone. Really? What next? The next time I have a spare month for a one-day edit, this might be worth trying out.

This would take all the profit out of editing while driving.

Ed

_________________________________________________
Anything worth doing at all, is worth doing well.
- Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield


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cowcowcowcowcow
Tim WilsonStarting in the mail room
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 2:23:06 pm

Y'know, I don't actually have a problem with this at all. It's one of the many ways how this industry and many others have been built. You want to become an agent? Start in the mailroom. Want to become a producer? Start as a personal assistant.

On one level, sure, it's exploitation. More important, you want more from your assistant than somebody for whom being an assistant is the best job they've ever had, or the only job they want. Unless you really ARE an exploiter, you want somebody who can grow into another role over time.

My first job in the visual arts was as an assistant photographer, ie, I carried the bags. Then I showed him the pictures I took on my own time, and took his criticism. "Great eye, kid, but it takes many hundreds of photos to know what you're doing in the darkroom." He was right, of course.

My next step was taking the assignments he didn't want (school board)...and from there into editorial and layout, and on and on until I owned my own company. But the only reason my boss hired me is because he knew I was at least a decent photog and that I wanted his job.

Oh yeah, and things I learned from those lame school board meetings, and hanging in the newsroom and listening to reporters laugh at candidates and hacks helped me make political consulting and campaign management a big part of my business.

I started that first job making nothing.

This is similar to how -- what's that you say? Bob ZELIN??? -- Zelin and other people I know got their start. Working for next to nothing at a job that was NOT their goal, but enough to get them in the door. They moved up because they asked a lot of questions, and started doing jobs nobody else wanted.

So to me, this driver/editor job listing falls into the categories of, "Fun to mock," and "If you don't want it, don't take it," but most important, "Wow, I remember those days! It was gruesome, but it got me where I am today."

Consider it a Rorschach test. Are you closer to the beginning of your career, or closer to DEATH? Because hey, that's how it went, and that's how it goes.

Yr pal,
Timmy



Tim Wilson
Creative Cow Magazine!

My Blog: "Is this thing on? Oh it's on!"

Don't forget to rate your favorite posts!


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+1


Mike CohenRe: Starting in the mail room
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 7:44:50 pm

I started in the mail room. It was my one job offer and I was thankful to have it. I got a low rent bachelor pad in swanky Naugatuck, CT and put my best foot forward.

Thankfully I had learned how to operate and troubleshoot CMX and Sony online edit bays in college and could use a waveform and vectorscope to time decks, and when an opportunity became available, I was given a shot.

Nowadays technical skills are not in as great demand, but an entry level job remains elusive for many recent graduates because either they have nothing to show for their studies, they are not assertive, or some combination.

Mike Cohen


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Andrew KimeryRe: Starting in the mail room
by on Sep 16, 2009 at 10:12:51 pm

Mike Cohen,

I believe it was the EditDroid (a Lucasfilm experiment at a nonlinear editor) that used RotJ footage to create a standing-room-only presentation at NAB back in the day.


-Andrew

3.2GHz 8-core, FCP 6.0.4, 10.5.5
Blackmagic Multibridge Eclipse (6.8.1)



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Ron LindeboomRe: Starting in the mail room
by on Sep 18, 2009 at 6:07:10 am

Man, this is exactly how I got started in both radio and television. And like Tim says, I jumped at the chance and used it to get every ounce of experience to end up doing other things that paid.

They used to call it "apprenticing" but now we call it exploitation. But for those, to quote Grinner Hester, who just have to do this because they wouldn't want to do anything else, it's a ladder.

If you don't want the job, don't take it.

Ron Lindeboom


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Tim WilsonRe: Starting in the mail room
by on Sep 18, 2009 at 7:36:20 am

[Ron Lindeboom] "I jumped at the chance and used it to get every ounce of experience...."

And to go back to the top of the thread, if I had the opportunity to get a foot in the door AND drive...wow, I don't know how much better it could get. To quote your friends and mine, "Beep beep, mmm beep beep YEAH!"







Tim Wilson
Creative Cow Magazine!

My Blog: "Is this thing on? Oh it's on!"

Don't forget to rate your favorite posts!


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David Roth WeissRe: Starting in the mail room
by on Sep 18, 2009 at 3:47:16 pm

[Tim Wilson] "if I had the opportunity to get a foot in the door AND drive...wow, I don't know how much better it could get. "

I did it, and because of the experience I learned to negotiate both the streets of Los Angeles and inner workings of the business behind the scenes.

There's no better way to get around, be around, and learn your way around this industry than to drive around and conduct day to day business for a working company while getting paid for your time.

David Roth Weiss
Director/Editor
David Weiss Productions, Inc.
Los Angeles

POST-PRODUCTION WITHOUT THE USUAL INSANITY ™


A forum host of Creative COW's Apple Final Cut Pro, Business & Marketing, Indie Film & Documentary, and Film History & Appreciations forums.


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