Apple creates a Phenomenon

	Apple creates a Phenomenon by Burt Hazard on Sep 10, 2008 at 10:52:35 pm Thought ya might be interested in this: Munedawg Newzdroid: "Apple is a Phenomenon at IBC" The usually sedate European press became whipped into a media frenzy today when Apple, Inc. surprised everyone by storming the trade show floor in a Bondian motorized booth/tank which literally blew away the competition. Apple CEO Steve Jobs treated attendees to an impromptu keynote presentation when he emerged from the gleaming black and pink contraption in some sort of hover-segue, flanked by scantily-clad robo-girlz emblazoned with the ubiquitous glowing Apple logo. After imbibing copious quantities of iKool-Aid, gawking onlookers we given the first peek of Apple's new Phenomenon compositing software, which amazingly comes in seven chromatic flavors: Lime, Blueberry, Tangerine, Lemon, Strawberry, Grape, and Chocolate-mint. "Damn, these pups are tasty," enthused director Steven Spielberg, vowing to use the Chocolate-mint version for his next blockbuster feature film, a remake of UN CHIEN ANDALOU starring Keanu Reaves and Jodie Foster. Jobs then mesmerized the rapt throng by unveiling iPhenomenon Nano, a truly unique twist to the compositing paradigm which incredibly can run on a large selection of iPods as well as the new 3G iPhone, allowing weary visual Fx staff to get all their work done while relaxing on the sunny beaches of the French Riveria or the Isle of Wight. In a further demonstration of Apple's technological prowess, Jobs then punched in a secret code which unlocked the true DiamondExtreme graphics engine of the iPhone, which then projected a 3D holographic display of a true node-tree, which floated above the stunned multitude like a 21st century Yggdrasil. "This surely places us amongst the gods," burbled Apple's Chief Scientist of Secret Projects, Mark Miwerds. "The Foundry, Eyeon, Autodesk ain't got nothin' on this stuff," concluded a giddy Jobs. When pressed by eager reporters, Jobs admitted that he and his team managed to make such a quantum leap beyond their competition by doing just that. "We've been in a secret partnership with CERN and earlier this year we first fired up their Super Hadron Collider and managed to punch a hole in the space/time continuum, creating a traversable wormhole into another dimension in which we were able to procure the talents of some amazing alien scientists." When Miwerds was asked on how Apple plans on topping this show-stopper, he glibly admitted that a "real Time Machine" was in the works, "not that wimpy piece of crap included in Leopard" and that we could all look forward to some "pretty cool people on the Board of Directors." Jobs just smiled mysteriously and hinted that "Attila" was a "pretty groovy dude" once you got to know him and that "Nefertiti" threw "a damn good party." Respond to this post   •   Return to posts index

	Re: Apple creates a Phenomenon by Eric Meek on Oct 21, 2008 at 12:52:45 pm This post is dumb, insulting, and written by a windows fan. Its biased, rude, and insulting. Take this crap to other forums because we are not here to waste our time with insulting and far reaching posts. If you dislike aple i suggest you find a different place to do it besides a forum were people ask and get help. This is proof you guys are no better than us. You think writing a post like this in an apple forum is mature? This is exactly why windows user get the bad name they do. They are a bunch of cry babies who is jealous of apple every move. If you dont like them, why are you even here? And i get you dont like them from the post above. This post was uncalled for, and I can tell it was written by the uneducated. Everyone who thinks they know apple writes this kind of stuff,, and obviously your not showing us anything but how uneducated and experienced with apple computers you are. Respond to this post   •   Return to posts index