Kelli, yeah manual focus is the only way to go, especially when the zoom and iris are maxed out. The human eye is a much more accurate device than any focus assist, regardless of price.
If at all possible try not to use any picture gain because the EX1R's imagers are a little noisy to begin with and gaining up will just accentuate the issue. It's absolutely okay to use the iris wide open as long as you stay on full manual focus (pull the focus ring back until it clicks into manual). This way there will be no 'focus hunting' from the camera at all.
Zoom into your subject and use the expanded focus button on the hand grip. Set your focus and you're done. FYI unlike the Z1U, expanded focus can be used on the EX1R while recording to re-check focus periodically to make sure there is no lens breathing during the session. Since you are an experienced content creator you will know that a shallow depth of field will minimize the viewer's eyes from wandering away from what you want them to focus on.
Even though the EX1R's flip out screen is good enough for critical focus you may want to also use a larger on-camera field monitor in these instances to give your camera person more piece of mind during the session.
Hope this helps.
- Don
Don Greening
A Vancouver Video Production Company
Reeltime Videoworks
http://www.reeltimevideoworks.com