Re: Professional v Amateur

Actual synopsis of a phone conversation I had a couple of years ago:

Me: Hello, this is Mike.

Caller: Hi, this is Jane Smith. I'm a producer for "major science and health cable channel". We are working on a show about colon cancer. I was wondering if you have any stock footage of colonoscopy.

Me: Hmm, maybe. Where are you located?

Caller: We're in LA.

Me: Don't you work with any of the hospitals out there?

Caller: No, not really. We weren't allowed to film any actual colonoscopy procedures. Do you have any?

Me: Maybe. We really don't make a habit of selling our footage. Most of it isn't licensed for that.

Caller: Oh. Well I wasn't thinking of buying footage. I was hoping you might be able to give me something to use. We'll give you credit of course.

Me: Really, you don't have a budget for this? Don't you work for "major science and health cable channel?"

Caller: Well yes, but they don't really give us any money.

Me: I see. Well I can't just give you footage. And as I said, most of our stuff is not for sale anyway. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Caller: Oh gee whiz. Well can you suggest anyone I could call.

Me: You're the producer honey. Produce.

Ok, I didn't really say that, but I was thinking it!

Me: Why not call one of the biggest most well known hospital in Los Angeles. I'm sure they could lead you in the right direction. Or call Katie Couric. Her colon is all over the internet.

Caller: Blank stare coming through phone.

Me: Well, good luck to you.

Scene.

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Yep, people everywhere are looking for a free lunch. The problem with free lunch is it often consists of undercooked hot dogs and weak iced tea. It may satisfy your hunger for a little while, but you'll have an upset stomach later.

Mike